Always need to be reminded

I just read my last blog and laughed at myself. I have found myself seeking desperately for comfort and safety this week. I have yearned for calm and certainty. Where is the "no faith required" path? I missed it, but would sure like to find it. I can honestly say my favorite word has been easy, why can't things be easy? It is like just when I find comfort and settle into a path that seems more predictable my world is shaken like a snow globe. I am learning that even though I am growing each day in my faith and courage to follow God; I am still happy to settle into a clear path and find it very hard to accept when God once again steps in and adds a secret trail that I didn't see coming. I revert back to wondering do I really trust where this path will lead and who made the map? It humbles me to see how easily my world is turned upside down. I read in 1 Peter today about trials and thought to myself I am sure glad that I am through all of those- haha...I am sure many of you are laughing right now. I wanted to be through them. I read the verse and thought- that is so true- trial really does purify and build faith- glad that it worked for me, hope I never have it again!
5 hours later...where is that verse again?! 1 Peter 1:6-7 "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you may have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."
Can I be truly glad just because I have the faith to believe that there is wonderful joy ahead when Jesus Christ comes back for me? Do I have that kind of genuine faith? It is safe to say it is being refined by fire. May I find my faith more precious than Gold when I am through. It struck me tonight though just how comforting it is to have a savior that so intimately knows my inmost thoughts and desires. I can whisper fears and doubts that no one else in the world knows and know that they are safe in his arms. He hears me and loves me and wants to help. That is a feeling that is worth trial. My savior knows my inner most thoughts and feelings and He is going to handle them gently. Praise God that He is the lover of my soul. I find peace in that. I find comfort in that. I find the courage to say your will be done. Your will be done Lord.