No news is....

Wednesday came and went.  Wednesday was our one year anniversary...one year since we started the adoption process.  It was bitter sweet.  It meant one year of being free of the nightmare that was infertility and that was very sweet, but it also meant another year passing without being a mom.  It has been a year of speed bumps, hurdles, road blocks, twists and turns, and more growth than I ever even imagined.  I often get asked if we have any updates about our adoption and the only response I have had for months is "no news."  No news in the adoption world is exactly that, no news.  I have to say though that no news isn't exactly accurate for me.
 If I really answered truthfully It would be a news real of what God is teaching me.  Because even though we don't have news of a baby, I have news of what God is doing in my life.  My news flashes would look like this: "Overcoming unbelief", "Learning to pray", "Finding healing", "Learning to trust God".  Often I am overwhelmed with emotion, being stretched and refined constantly, to the point where I want to ask God to slow down the growing process.  Being taught at such a rapid rate has often been uncomfortable and painful.  It is overwhelming to see so regularly just how much growth I need. 
My mentor said that she sees me as a glass ornament that started off with a tiny crack that has now spread all over and the pieces of my old self are beginning to fall away to reveal a beautiful new me that God is molding and creating in His image.  Even though the cracking isn't pleasant seeing who God is creating me to be is hopeful. 
God is molding me to be a mom who has learned patience.  He is giving me trust so that I can trust my child's life into His hands.  He is providing healing so that I can pray "sun stand still" prayers and whether the answer is yes or no I will still believe.  He is building my faith on a foundation of stone so that when the storms come my castle isn't knocked over by life.  Life has in some ways tried to beat the vision out of me.  God is fighting to teach me to keep my eyes on Him so that my vision doesn't waiver.  So the newsflash is: I am a work in progress. That is good news.