Pay Off

"People only act where there is a perceived pay off."

It still amazes me how creative God is willing to be in order to get through to me.  We recently got together with a group of friends to enjoy a meal and catch up.  That dinner get together turned into a wisdom filled time of sharing what God was teaching us.  One topic that came up was the frustration that comes with trying to encourage the youth in our youth groups to walk with the Lord, seriously full out give themselves to Christ.  One of our friends spoke up and said something to the effect that our students will not invest themselves in something that they don't think will benefit them.  It is pretty profound when you think about it.  If whatever you are faced with doesn't seem to have infinite value that will benefit you, you will probably not take time to invest in it.

That idea started to settle in and I started to marinate over the things in my life that have a perceived pay off.  We exercise because in the end we believe that it makes our body's healthier, if working out did nothing to improve our appearance and health very few of us would do it.  There are many that aren't convinced of the benefit of working out and because the pay off isn't always immediate they choose not to invest themselves in staying healthy.  How about friendships?  We pour into friendships that provide us with a sense of love and well being.  Usually, our closest friends are those that are equally devoted to us.  We benefit from the friendship, so it is easier to invest in it.  Such a small concept, yet such far reaching impact.

But lets be real, there are some other things I invest a lot of energy and effort into.  Take worry and anxiety.  About a week after this dinner get together I asked our friend who inspired this blog to send me the quote listed above, and with that he included this thought "for people who are persistently anxious what is the payoff"?  I was stunned. My anxiety had reached crippling proportions over the last few months.  He had no idea that literally just the day before I had been begging God in my personal prayer time to help me address the anxiety in my life.  I have invested so much time in worry and anxiety that it affects my sleep, my health, my thoughts, everything. God used this friend to speak directly to me- Crystal, what is the payoff of being anxious?  I had to truly sink deep into that question, to expose the thought to the light, and allow God to bring the answer out of the darkness of my sin.  I choose anxiety because it makes me feel in control.  The payoff is a sense of stability and control that I continuously fight for.

The sickening truth is that being anxious actually controls me.  It is a deception that choosing anxiety somehow benefits me.  It is a lie from Satan, that with the help of a friend has been exposed.  But this thought has not only addressed anxiety in my life it has begun to expose the motive of everything I do.  Why do I choose to talk with friends about a problem instead of going to the Lord? Because deep down I am convinced that the encouraging words of a friend and warmth of a hug will comfort me more than being in the presence of my Heavenly Father.  I am convinced that there will be more wisdom and help found in the human relationship than in the Heavenly one.  Why do I avoid reading scripture daily, but can read "Christian" books faithfully?  I am obviously convinced that these books are better for me, that the teaching in these books is more life changing than the word of God, that the payoff is bigger.

How you invest your heart, time, and energy reveals where you think the pay off lies.  If I was truly convinced that God was everything I needed my investments would reflect my sold out belief in the ultimate pay off of having an amazing relationship with God.  This concept has truly motivated me to beg God to change the deceptions I believe, and to continue to ask in honest prayer that God continue to grow in me a love for him.  Christ dieing on the cross allows me to have a relationship with a perfect and holy God- God thought that saving me was worth more than saving his own son. A relationship with me was the pay off for God.  Now that is a truly humbling thought.

Matthew 6:21 " Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also."